This is Not a Networking Event

I'm having a morning coffee for interested people to meet other interested people. It's that basic.

Friends play pickleball on an early spring day in NYC. Look at that community!

Recently, I’ve been thinking heavily about how to move in my own way in the world. Specifically, how to be successful in a way that feels consistent with my values (after all, I am a continuer!). This feels especially tricky at this age where I am more often participating in existing systems than I am making them. And sometimes this has pushed me to contemplate ways to reinvent environments that don’t feel totally right. 

One of the ways I feel this conflict between values and status quo most strongly is in the way we meet each other. Specifically, in networking. I love to meet new people. I love hearing their stories and understanding what makes them tick. I love listening to passionate people tell me about their passions - it’s so rare and fun! I love sending cold emails. I try to do it monthly. The idea that a conversation with someone you admire is only one well-crafted cold email away is exhilarating. And the endless people to meet and things to learn from them is a big reason for why I moved from Boston back to the larger, more industry-diverse city of New York. I’ve met some amazing people this way - people who have come to play big roles in my life. And the community of people I care about has grown. 

But it’s so hard to find an environment for genuine discovery of other people, especially in the tech and VC worlds. Even interactions within groups that frame themselves as communities and not pure networking events (run clubs, breakfast clubs - so many clubs!) feel more like speed dating than true community building: “Who is this person and why could they be helpful to me?” is the persistent question. And I’m depleted after these events from trying to prove to others why I’m worth their time. 

Sometimes, I think we’ve lost the plot. People around you exist to learn from. Each individual holds passions and experiences that are fascinating and energizing, even if they aren’t directly related to what you’re working on. And while there are so many opportunities to find this high-volume, speed networking, there are not a lot of chances to get together with people to actually learn from them. 

And so, I’m starting my own thing. It’s a morning coffee on Friday, May 10th at a coffee shop near Union Square. Someone will share something they’re excited about (whether related to their job or not), and we can either talk about it or change the subject. There’s no agenda except to talk about what people are interested in. Bring ideas, things that have inspired you, questions, and an ear for listening. Speak heavily, say nothing, it doesn’t matter. You don’t even need to consider yourself interesting. Just be interested.

If you can head to work on Friday feeling like you’ve learned something new and met people you genuinely enjoy, it was a success. It’s that basic.

Express interest and/or share with interested friends here.

Update (09/2024): Hey! Adding an addendum many months later to say that this idea has evolved into a monthly morning coffee in NYC. I’m so proud of the form it has taken — a way for people to genuinely get to know each other in an authentic and casual way. It really is a highlight of each month. If you want to attend, reply to this post and I’ll share the details.